A boy asks his father to explain the differences among irritation, aggravation, and frustration.

The Dad picked up the phone and dialed a number at random. When the phone was answered he asks, “Can I speak to Alf, please?”

To which the person on the other end of the line said, “No! There’s no one called Alf here.” Then, they hung up.

“That’s irritation,” said Dad.

Then he picked up the phone again and dialed the same number; once again asking for Alf a second time. This time the irate answerer replied, “No — there’s no one here called Alf. Go away. If you call again I’ll call the police.”

“That’s aggravation,” commented Dad.

“Then what’s ‘frustration’?” asked his son.

The father picked up the phone and dialed the same number a third time: “Hello, this is Alf. Have I received any phone calls?”

Johnny had been misbehaving and was sent to his room. After a while he emerged and informed his mother that he had thought it over and then said a prayer.

“Fine”, said the pleased mother. “If you ask God to help you not misbehave, He will help you.”

“Oh, I didn’t ask Him to help me not misbehave,” said Johnny. “I asked Him to help you put up with me.”

A man went to his dentist because he feels something wrong in his mouth.

The dentist examines him and says, “That new upper plate I put in for you six months ago is eroding. What have you been eating?”

The man replies, “All I can think of is that about four months ago my wife made some asparagus and put some stuff on it that was delicious…Hollandaise sauce. I loved it so much I now put it on everything — meat, toast, fish, vegetables, everything.”

“Well,” says the dentist, “that’s probably the problem. Hollandaise sauce is made with lots of lemon juice, which is highly corrosive. It’s eaten away your upper plate. I’ll make you a new plate, and this time use chrome.”

“Why chrome?” asks the patient, to which the dentist replies, “It’s simple. Everyone knows that there’s no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise!”