Consider This…

• If you can start the day without caffeine,
• If you can get going without pep pills,
• If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches & pains,
• If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
• If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,
• If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,
• If you can overlook it when those you love take it out on you when, though no fault of yours, something goes wrong,
• If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,
• If you can ignore a friends limited education and never correct him/her,
• If you can resist treating a rich friend better than a poor friend,
• If you can face the world without lies and deceit,
• If you can conquer tension without medical help,
• If you can relax without liquor,
• If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,

Then, my friend,
You are ALMOST as good as your dog.

The following breeds are now recognized by the AKC:

• Collie + Lhasa Apso–Collapso,a dog that folds up easy for transporting

• Spitz + Chow Chow–Spitz-Chow, a dog that throws up alot

• Pointer + Setter–Poinsetter, a traditional Christmas pet

• Great Pyrenees + Dachshund–Pyradachs, a puzzling breed

• Pekingnese + Lhasa Apso–Peekasso, an abstract dog

• Irish Water Spaniel + English Springer Spaniel–Irish Springer, a dog fresh and clean as a whistle

• Labrador Retriever + Curly Coated Retriever–Lab Coat Retriever, the choice of research scientists

• Newfoundland + Basset Hound–Newfound Asset Hound, a dog for financial advisors

• Terrier + Bulldog–Terribull, a dog that makes awful mistakes

• Bloodhound + Labrador–Blabador, a dog that barks incessantly

• Malamute + Pointer–Moot Point, owned by…..oh, well, it doesn’t matter anyway

• Collie + Malamute–Commute, a dog that travels to work

• Deerhound + Terrier–Derriere, a dog that’s true to the end

Late one night, a burglar broke into a house that he thought was empty. He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly he froze in his tracks when he heard a loud voice say, "Jesus is watching you." Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again. "Jesus is watching you," the voice boomed again. The burglar stopped dead again. He was frightened. Frantically, he looked all around. In a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a parrot. He asked the parrot, "Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?"

"Yes", said the parrot.

The burglar breathed a sigh of relief, then he asked the parrot, "What’s your name?"

"Clarence," said the bird.

"That’s a dumb name for a parrot,&quot sneered the burglar. "What idiot named you Clarence?"

The parrot said, "The same idiot who named the Rottweiller Jesus."