Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. They discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother.

The first said: “I built a big house for our mother.”

The second said: “I sent her a Mercedes with a driver.”

The third said: “You remember how our mother enjoys reading the Bible. Now she can’t see very well. So I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entire Bible. It took elders in the church 12 years to teach him. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot recites it.”

Soon thereafter, their mother sent out her letters of thanks.

“Milton,” she said, “the house you built is so huge. I live only in one room, but I have to clean the whole house.

“Gerald,” she said, “I am too old to travel. I stay most of the time at home so I rarely use the Mercedes. And that driver is so rude! He’s a pain!”

“But Donald,” she said, “the little chicken you sent was delicious!”

One day, after a near eternity in the Garden of Eden, Adam calls out to God, “Lord, I have a problem.” ”

What’s the problem, Adam?”, God replies.

“Lord, I know you created me and have provided for me and surrounded me with this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, but I’m just not happy”

“Why is that, Adam?”, comes the reply from the heavens.

“Lord, I know you created this place for me, with all this lovely food and all of the beautiful animals, but I am lonely.”

“Well Adam, in that case I have the perfect solution. I shall create a ‘woman’ for you.”

“What’s a ‘woman’, Lord?”

“This ‘woman’ will be the most intelligent, sensitive, caring, and beautiful creature I have ever created. She will be so intelligent that she can figure out what you want before you want it. She will be so sensitive and caring that she will know your every mood and how to make you happy. Her beauty will rival that of the heavens and earth.

She will unquestioningly care for your every need and desire. She will be the perfect companion for you.”, replies the heavenly voice.

“Sounds great.”

“She will be, but this is going to cost you, Adam.”

“How much will this ‘woman’ cost me Lord?”, Adam replies.

“She’ll cost you your right arm, your right leg, and an eye, an ear of your choice.”

Adam ponders this for some time, with a look of deep thought and concern on his face. Finally Adam says to God, “Ehhh, what can I get for a rib?” The rest, as they say, is history

The age of the computer makes it much easier to prepare worship folders. Some churches use the same basic format each week and then make the necessary changes, and presto, it’s done.

But it can be tricky.

In one church I know, they use the same format for funeral services. And when a person dies and a funeral service is prepared, the secretary simply uses the word-search-and-replace process and changes the name of the deceased from the previous service to the name of the deceased who has just passed away.

Very simply.

So when Edna died, the pastor instructed the secretary to prepare the service for her by following the above mentioned process. The last person who died was Mary. So the secretary instructed the computer to change all “Marys” to Ednas.” And so it was.

Image the surprise of the attendees when they recited the Apostles Creed and read: “He was conceived by the Holy Spirit, born of the Virgin Edna.”