A group of senior citizens were exchanging complaints about their ailments.

“My arm is so weak that I can hardly hold this coffee cup.”

“Yes, I know. My cataracts are so bad that I can’t see to pour my coffee.”

“I can’t turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck.”

“My blood pressure pills make my dizzy.”

“I guess that’s the price we pay for getting old.”

“Well, it’s not all bad. We should be thankful that we can still drive.”

Poor Leroy had fallen on hard times. He lost his job at the fertilizer plant, his wife had left him, his unemployment had run out, and he was evicted from his apartment. He packed what little he had in a knapsack, made a little sign that read “Will work for food” and set off down the road on foot.

Toward the middle of the day, he came to a farmhouse. He was getting very hungry, and so he knocked on the front door. A woman answered, and Leroy explained his situation, and how he could do most anything and how hungry he was.

At first the woman wanted no part of Leroy, but he persisted. Finally she asked “Can you paint?”

“Oh yes, ma’am,” Leroy said, “I sure can paint. I’ve done a lot of painting. Just let me show you.” The woman relented, found a can of paint and a brush and said, “You go around back and paint the porch, and I’ll fix you dinner.” Happily, Leroy went to work.

About 40 minutes later, Leroy appeared at the front door. “Are you finished so soon?” asked the woman.

“Oh yes, ma’am,” said Leroy, “but I think you ought to know that’s not a Porsche, it’s a Volvo.”

Jack Gremillion tells of the minister who parked in a no-parking zone and left this note on his windshield:

“I have circled this block 10 times. I have an appointment to keep. Forgive us our trespasses.”

When he returned to his car, this reply was attached to a parking ticket:

“I’ve circled this block for 10 years. If I don’t give you a ticket, I lose my job. Lead us not into temptation.”