Little Johnny wanted to be an accountant, so he went for an aptitude test:

Mr. Proctor: If I give you two Rabbits, and two rabbits, and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?

Little Johnny : SEVEN!

Mr. Proctor: No, listen carefully again. If I give you two Rabbits, and two rabbits, and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?

Little Johnny : SEVEN!

Mr. Proctor: Let’s try this another way. If I give you two bottles of pop, and two bottles of pop, and another two bottles of pop, how many bottles of beer have you got?

Little Johnny : SIX.

Mr. Proctor: Good! Now, if I give you two Rabbits, and two rabbits,and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?

Little Johnny : SEVEN!

Mr. Proctor: How on Earth do you work out that three lots of two rabbits is seven?

Little Johnny : I’ve already got one rabbit at home!

Baby Bear goes downstairs and sits in his small chair at the table, he looks into his small bowl. It is empty. “Who’s been eating my porridge?!!”, he squeaks.

Papa Bear arrives at the big table and sits in his big chair. He looks into his big bowl, and it is also empty. “Who’s been eating my Porridge?!!,” he roars.

Momma Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from the kitchen and yells, “For Pete’s sake, how many times do we have to go through this? It was Momma Bear who got up first, it was Momma Bear who woke everyone in the house, it was Momma Bear who made the coffee, it was Momma Bear who unloaded the dishwasher from last night, and put everything away, it was Momma Bear who went out in the cold early morning air to fetch the newspaper, it was Momma Bear who set the table, it was Momma Bear who put the cat out, cleaned the litter box, and filled the cat’s water and food dish, and, now that you’ve decided to drag your sorry bear-butts downstairs, and grace Momma Bear’s kitchen with your grumpy presence, listen good, cause I’m only going to say this one more time . . .

“I HAVEN’T MADE THE PORRIDGE YET !!”

A little girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling ill.

‘Mommy,’ she said, ‘can we leave now?’

‘No’ her mother replied.

‘Well, I think I’m gonna be sick, Momma!’

‘Then go out the front door and around to the back of the church and then behind a bush.’

After about 60 seconds the little girl returned to her seat.

‘Were you sick?’ her mom asked.

‘Yes.’

‘How could you have gone all the way to the back of the church and returned so quickly?’

‘I didn’t have to go out of the church, Mommy. They have a box next to the front door that says, ‘For the Sick’.’