Four preachers had a series of theological arguments, and three were always in accord against the fourth. One day, the odd man out decided to appeal to a higher authority.

“Oh, God!” he cried. “I know in my heart that I am right and they are wrong! Please show me a sign, so they too will know that I understand Your laws.”

It was a beautiful, sunny day. As soon as the preacher finished his plea, a storm cloud moved across the sky above the four. It rumbled once and dissolved. “A sign from God! See, I’m right, I knew it!” But the other three disagreed, pointing out that storm clouds form on hot days.

So he asked again: “Oh, God, I need a bigger sign to show that I am right and they are wrong. So please, God, a bigger sign.”

This time four storm clouds appeared, rushed toward each other to form one big cloud, and a bolt of lightning knocked down a tree ten feet away from the preachers. The cloud dispersed at once. “I told you I was right!” insisted the loner, but the others insisted that nothing had happened that could not be explained by natural causes.

The insisting preacher started to ask again; just as he said, “Oh God…” the sky turned pitch black, the earth shook, and a deep, booming voice intoned, “HEEEEEEEE’S RIIIIIIIGHT!”

The sky returned to normal. The one preacher put his hands on his hips and said, “Well?”

So?” replied another. “Now it’s three to two!”

No offense to Christians of any of these particular Denominational or Theological persuasions,excepting TV evangelists of course.

• How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb? One, since his/her hands are in the air anyway.

• How many Calvinists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. God has predestined when the lights will be on.

• How many liberals does it take to change a light bulb? 10, as they need to hold a debate into whether or not the lightbulb exists. Even if they can agree upon the existence of the lightbulb they may not go ahead and change it for fear of alienating those who use fluorescent tubes.

• How many Anglo-Catholics does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They always use candles instead.

• How many evangelicals does it take to change a light bulb? Evangelicals do not change light bulbs. They simply read out the instructions and hope the light bulb will decide to change itself.

• How many Atheists does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But they are still in darkness.

• How many Brethren does it take to change a light bulb? Change?????

• How many Pentecostals does it take to change a light bulb? 10, one to change it and 9 others to pray against the spirit of darkness.

• How many tv evangelists does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But for the message of hope to continue to go forth, send in your donation today.

• How many campfire worship leaders does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But soon all those around can warm up to its glowing.<

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• How many independent Baptist’s does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, anymore than that would be considered ecumenical.

• How many Episcopalians does it take to change a light bulb? One to actually change the bulb and 9 to say how much they like the old one.

During a recent ecumenical gathering, a secretary rushed in shouting, “The building is on fire!”

• The Methodists gathered in the corner and prayed.

• The Baptists cried, “Where is the water?”

• The Quakers quietly praised God for the blessings that fire brings.

• The Lutherans posted a notice on the door declaring the fire was evil.

• The Roman Catholics passed the plate to cover the damage.

• The Jews posted symbols on the door hoping the fire would pass.

• The Congregationalists shouted, “Every man for himself!”

• The Fundamentalists proclaimed, “It’s the vengeance of God!”

• The Episcopalians formed a procession and marched out.

• The Christian Scientists concluded that there was no fire.

• The Presbyterians appointed a chairperson who was to appoint a committee to look into the matter and submit a wirtten report.

• The secretary grabbed the fire extingusher and put the fire out.