Four Preachers

Four preachers had a series of theological arguments, and three were always in accord against the fourth. One day, the odd man out decided to appeal to a higher authority.

“Oh, God!” he cried. “I know in my heart that I am right and they are wrong! Please show me a sign, so they too will know that I understand Your laws.”

It was a beautiful, sunny day. As soon as the preacher finished his plea, a storm cloud moved across the sky above the four. It rumbled once and dissolved. “A sign from God! See, I’m right, I knew it!” But the other three disagreed, pointing out that storm clouds form on hot days.

So he asked again: “Oh, God, I need a bigger sign to show that I am right and they are wrong. So please, God, a bigger sign.”

This time four storm clouds appeared, rushed toward each other to form one big cloud, and a bolt of lightning knocked down a tree ten feet away from the preachers. The cloud dispersed at once. “I told you I was right!” insisted the loner, but the others insisted that nothing had happened that could not be explained by natural causes.

The insisting preacher started to ask again; just as he said, “Oh God…” the sky turned pitch black, the earth shook, and a deep, booming voice intoned, “HEEEEEEEE’S RIIIIIIIGHT!”

The sky returned to normal. The one preacher put his hands on his hips and said, “Well?”

So?” replied another. “Now it’s three to two!”

When You Gotta Go…

On a Sunday morning a mother knocked on her son’s bedroom door and told him that it was time to get up and go to church.

“I’m not going to church this morning,” said the son.

“You gotta get up and go to church”, replied the mother.

“No, I’m not.” said the son.

“Yes you are”, yelled the mother.

“No, I’m not, they don’t like me and I don’t like them. Give me two good reasons why I have to go,” stated the son.

“Number one, you’re 55 years-old and number two, you’re the pastor!”

Ten Little Christians

In this little jingle, there is a lesson true,
you belong either to the building or to the wrecking crew!

10 little Christians standing in line.
1 disliked the preacher, then there were 9.

9 little Christians stayed up very late.
1 overslept Sunday, then there were 8.

8 little Christians on their way to Heaven.
1 took the low road and then there were 7.

7 little Christians chirping like chicks.
1 disliked music, then there were 6.

6 little Christians seemed very much alive,
but one lost his interest then there was 5.

5 little Christians pulling for Heaven’s Shore,
but one stopped to rest, then there were 4

4 little Christians each busy as a bee.
1 got his feelings hurt, then there were 3

3 little Christians knew not what to do.
1 joined the sporty crowd, then there were 2

2 little Christians, our rhyme is nearly done,
differed with each other, then there was 1

1 little Christian can’t do much ’tis true,
brought his friend to bible study, then there were 2

2 earnest Christians, each won one more.
That doubled the number, then there were 4

4 sincere Christians worked early and late.
Each won another then there were 8

8 splendid Christians if they doubled as before.
In just so many Sundays, we’d have 1,024

In this little jingle, there is a lesson true,
you belong either to the building or to the wrecking crew!