A minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for repairs to the church building.

Therefore, he was annoyed to find that the regular organist was sick and a substitute had been brought in at the last minute. The substitute wanted to know what to play.

“Here’s a copy of the service,” he said impatiently. “But you’ll have to think of something to play after I make the announcement about the finances.”

During the service, the minister paused and said, “Brothers and Sisters, we are in great difficulty; the roof repairs cost twice as much as we expected, and we need $4,000 more. Any of you who can
pledge $100 or more, please stand up.”

At that moment, the substitute organist played, “The Star Spangled Banner.”

This is the way we would sing these well-known hymns–if we’re honest.

• I Surrender Some

• There Shall Be Sprinkles of Blessings

• Fill My Spoon, Lord

• Oh, How I Like Jesus

• He’s Quite a Bit to Me

• I Love to Talk About Telling the Story

• Take My Life and Let Me Be

• It is My Secret What God Can Do

• There is Scattered Cloudiness in My Soul Today

• Onward, Christian Reserves

• Where He Leads Me, I Will Consider Following

• Just As I Pretend to Be

• When the Saints Go Sneaking In

A little girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling ill.

‘Mommy,’ she said, ‘can we leave now?’

‘No’ her mother replied.

‘Well, I think I’m gonna be sick, Momma!’

‘Then go out the front door and around to the back of the church and then behind a bush.’

After about 60 seconds the little girl returned to her seat.

‘Were you sick?’ her mom asked.

‘Yes.’

‘How could you have gone all the way to the back of the church and returned so quickly?’

‘I didn’t have to go out of the church, Mommy. They have a box next to the front door that says, ‘For the Sick’.’