A little girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling ill.

‘Mommy,’ she said, ‘can we leave now?’

‘No’ her mother replied.

‘Well, I think I’m gonna be sick, Momma!’

‘Then go out the front door and around to the back of the church and then behind a bush.’

After about 60 seconds the little girl returned to her seat.

‘Were you sick?’ her mom asked.

‘Yes.’

‘How could you have gone all the way to the back of the church and returned so quickly?’

‘I didn’t have to go out of the church, Mommy. They have a box next to the front door that says, ‘For the Sick’.’

Each class in the Church School was asked to select a Bible verse that somehow reflected the theme and character of the class — even the church nursery was asked to participate.

This assignment puzzled the nursery workers…until they lit upon 1 Corinthians 15:51 — “We will not all sleep, but we will all be changed…”

In one church, the pastor, apparently fed up with all the excuses given over the years as to why people don’t go to church, included “Ten Reasons Why I Never Wash” in the Sunday bulletin:

1. I was forced to as a child.

2. People who wash are hypocrites — they think they are cleaner than everybody else.

3. There are so many different kinds of soap, I can’t decide which one is best.

4. I used to wash, but I got bored and stopped.

5. I wash only on special occasions, like Christmas and Easter.

6. None of my friends wash.

7. I’ll start washing when I get older and dirtier.

8. I can’t spare the time.

9. The bathroom is never warm enough in winter or cool enough in summer.

10. People who make soap are only after your money.