One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, “Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?”

The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. “I can’t dear”, she said. “I have to sleep in Daddy’s room.”

A long silence was broken at last by a shaken little voice saying, “The big sissy.”

1. If it ain’t broke, fix it till it is.
2. I don’t get even, I get odder.
3. I am having an out of money experience.
4. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
5. Anything free is worth what you pay for it.
6. It hurts to be on the cutting edge.
7. If marriage were outlawed, only outlaws would have in-laws.
8. If it weren’t for me, there’d just be a pile of my clothes on the floor.
9. I am not a perfectionist. But my parents were.
10. Being lost is less painful than asking for directions.

Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, “My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50.”

The second boy says, “That’s nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100.”

The third boy says, “I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon. And it takes eight people to collect all the money!”