Four preachers had a series of theological arguments, and three were always in accord against the fourth. One day, the odd man out decided to appeal to a higher authority.

“Oh, God!” he cried. “I know in my heart that I am right and they are wrong! Please show me a sign, so they too will know that I understand Your laws.”

It was a beautiful, sunny day. As soon as the preacher finished his plea, a storm cloud moved across the sky above the four. It rumbled once and dissolved. “A sign from God! See, I’m right, I knew it!” But the other three disagreed, pointing out that storm clouds form on hot days.

So he asked again: “Oh, God, I need a bigger sign to show that I am right and they are wrong. So please, God, a bigger sign.”

This time four storm clouds appeared, rushed toward each other to form one big cloud, and a bolt of lightning knocked down a tree ten feet away from the preachers. The cloud dispersed at once. “I told you I was right!” insisted the loner, but the others insisted that nothing had happened that could not be explained by natural causes.

The insisting preacher started to ask again; just as he said, “Oh God…” the sky turned pitch black, the earth shook, and a deep, booming voice intoned, “HEEEEEEEE’S RIIIIIIIGHT!”

The sky returned to normal. The one preacher put his hands on his hips and said, “Well?”

So?” replied another. “Now it’s three to two!”

One day, after a near eternity in the Garden of Eden, Adam calls out to God, “Lord, I have a problem.” ”

What’s the problem, Adam?”, God replies.

“Lord, I know you created me and have provided for me and surrounded me with this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, but I’m just not happy”

“Why is that, Adam?”, comes the reply from the heavens.

“Lord, I know you created this place for me, with all this lovely food and all of the beautiful animals, but I am lonely.”

“Well Adam, in that case I have the perfect solution. I shall create a ‘woman’ for you.”

“What’s a ‘woman’, Lord?”

“This ‘woman’ will be the most intelligent, sensitive, caring, and beautiful creature I have ever created. She will be so intelligent that she can figure out what you want before you want it. She will be so sensitive and caring that she will know your every mood and how to make you happy. Her beauty will rival that of the heavens and earth.

She will unquestioningly care for your every need and desire. She will be the perfect companion for you.”, replies the heavenly voice.

“Sounds great.”

“She will be, but this is going to cost you, Adam.”

“How much will this ‘woman’ cost me Lord?”, Adam replies.

“She’ll cost you your right arm, your right leg, and an eye, an ear of your choice.”

Adam ponders this for some time, with a look of deep thought and concern on his face. Finally Adam says to God, “Ehhh, what can I get for a rib?” The rest, as they say, is history

Two shipwrecked sailors were adrift on a raft for days. Finally, in desperation, one knelt and began to pray, “Oh Lord, I know I’ve been a pretty bad guy. I’ve drunk too much booze, and chased too many women. I’ve lied and cheated. I’ve done so many things that I’m ashamed of, but Lord, if you’ll just save me I promise that I’ll . . .”

“Hold it,” interrupted his shipmate, “don’t say another word, I think I just spotted land.”