- Thief: A person who finds things before the owner loses them.
- Synonym: A word you use when you can’t spell the other one.
- Taxpayer: People who don’t have to take a civil-service test to work for the government.
- Admiration: Our recognition of another’s resemblance to ourselves.
- Budget: An attempt to live below your yearnings.
- Clarity: The ability to give directions without taking your hands out of your pockets.
One day in Language Arts class the children were called to make sentences with words chosen by the teacher.
The teacher smiled when Little Johnny raised his hand to participate during the challenge of making a sentence with the words: “Defeat,” “Defence,” “Deduct,” and “Detail.”
Little Johnny stood, thinking for a while, all eyes focused on him while his classmates awaited his reply.
Smiling, he then proudly shouted out, “Defeat of deduct went over defence before detail.”
A boy asks his father to explain the differences among irritation, aggravation, and frustration.
The Dad picked up the phone and dialed a number at random. When the phone was answered he asks, “Can I speak to Alf, please?”
To which the person on the other end of the line said, “No! There’s no one called Alf here.” Then, they hung up.
“That’s irritation,” said Dad.
Then he picked up the phone again and dialed the same number; once again asking for Alf a second time. This time the irate answerer replied, “No — there’s no one here called Alf. Go away. If you call again I’ll call the police.”
“That’s aggravation,” commented Dad.
“Then what’s ‘frustration’?” asked his son.
The father picked up the phone and dialed the same number a third time: “Hello, this is Alf. Have I received any phone calls?”