Some tourists in the Chicago Museum of Natural History are marveling at the dinosaur bones. One of them asks the guard, “Can you tell me how old the dinosaur bones are?”
The guard replies, “They are 3 million, four years, and six months old.”
“That’s an awfully exact number,” says the tourist. “How do you know their age so precisely?”
The guard answers, “Well, the dinosaur bones were three million years old when I started working here, and that was four and a half years ago.”
Poor Leroy had fallen on hard times. He lost his job at the fertilizer plant, his wife had left him, his unemployment had run out, and he was evicted from his apartment. He packed what little he had in a knapsack, made a little sign that read “Will work for food” and set off down the road on foot.
Toward the middle of the day, he came to a farmhouse. He was getting very hungry, and so he knocked on the front door. A woman answered, and Leroy explained his situation, and how he could do most anything and how hungry he was.
At first the woman wanted no part of Leroy, but he persisted. Finally she asked “Can you paint?”
“Oh yes, ma’am,” Leroy said, “I sure can paint. I’ve done a lot of painting. Just let me show you.” The woman relented, found a can of paint and a brush and said, “You go around back and paint the porch, and I’ll fix you dinner.” Happily, Leroy went to work.
About 40 minutes later, Leroy appeared at the front door. “Are you finished so soon?” asked the woman.
“Oh yes, ma’am,” said Leroy, “but I think you ought to know that’s not a Porsche, it’s a Volvo.”