The US Federal Aviation Administration has a unique device for testing the strength of windshields on airplanes. The device is a gun that launches a dead chicken at a plane’s windshield at approximately the speed the plane flies. The theory is that if the windshield doesn’t crack from the carcass impact, it’ll survive a real collision with a bird during flight.

When the British were developing the high-speed railway under the English Channel to France, the tracks crossed low country near the sea where many shore birds nested. They were very interested in the FAA test and wanted to try it out on the windshield of the new high-speed locomotive they were developing. They borrowed the FAA’s chicken launcher, loaded the chicken and fired.

The ballistic chicken shattered the windshield, went through the engineer’s chair, broke an instrument panel, and embedded itself in the back wall of the engine cab. The British were stunned and asked the FAA to recheck the test to see if everything was done correctly.

The FAA reviewed the test thoroughly and had one recommendation: “Use a thawed chicken.”

A person “under the influence” decided to go ice fishing, so he gathered his gear and walked around until he found a big patch of ice.

So, he headed to the center of the ice and started to saw a hole.

All of sudden, a loud booming voice came out of the sky. “You will find no fish under that ice.”

The man looks around, but doesn’t see anyone. So, he started sawing again. Once more, the voice said, “As I said before, there are no fish under the ice.”

The man looked all around, but couldn’t see a single soul. Sp. he picked up the saw and tried one more time to finish. Before he even started cutting, the huge voice interrupts. “I have warned you three times now. There are no fish!”

The man now totally flustered and somewhat scared, asked the voice, “How do you know there are no fish? Are you God trying to warn me?”

“No”, the voice replied. “I am the manager of this hockey arena!

A Charlotte, North Carolina man, having purchased a case of rare, very expensive cigars, insured them against … get this … fire.

Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of fabulous cigars, and having yet to make a single premium payment on the policy, the man filed a claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the man stated that he had lost the cigars in “a series of small fires.” The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason that the man had consumed the cigars in a normal fashion. The man sued… and won! In delivering his ruling, the judge stated that since the man held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable, and also guaranteed that it would insure the cigars against fire, without defining what it considered to be “unacceptable fire,” it was obligated to compensate the insured for his loss.

Rather than endure a lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the judge’s ruling and paid the man $15,000 for the rare cigars he lost in “the fires.” After the man cashed his check, however, the insurance company had him arrested … on 24 counts of arson! With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used as evidence against him, the man was convicted of intentionally burning the rare cigars and sentenced to 24 consecutive one year terms!