This list apparently comes from a healthcare professional who has come across the following quotes from actual medical records dictated by physicians.
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By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better.
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Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
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On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared.
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The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983.
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The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
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Discharge status: Alive but without permission. The patient will need disposition, and therefore we will get Dr. Blank to dispose of him.
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Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
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The patient has no past history of suicides.
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The patient expired on the floor uneventfully.
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Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.
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Patient was becoming more demented with urinary frequency.
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The patient’s past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
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She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December.
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The patient left the hospital feeling much better except for her original complaints.
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The patient refused an autopsy.