Have A Cigar!

A Charlotte, North Carolina man, having purchased a case of rare, very expensive cigars, insured them against … get this … fire.

Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of fabulous cigars, and having yet to make a single premium payment on the policy, the man filed a claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the man stated that he had lost the cigars in “a series of small fires.” The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason that the man had consumed the cigars in a normal fashion. The man sued… and won! In delivering his ruling, the judge stated that since the man held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable, and also guaranteed that it would insure the cigars against fire, without defining what it considered to be “unacceptable fire,” it was obligated to compensate the insured for his loss.

Rather than endure a lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the judge’s ruling and paid the man $15,000 for the rare cigars he lost in “the fires.” After the man cashed his check, however, the insurance company had him arrested … on 24 counts of arson! With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used as evidence against him, the man was convicted of intentionally burning the rare cigars and sentenced to 24 consecutive one year terms!

The Unbearable Truth

Please note that I am not suggesting any character flaws in lawyers with this joke. Generalizations about lawyers, or any other group, are generally unfair.:-)


A guy from Czechoslovakia was visiting his cousin who was a lawyer. The Czechoslovakian always wanted to visit Yellowstone Park, so off then went.

Unfortunately, while they were hiking they were attacked by 2 bears, one male and one female. The male bear dismembered and ate the Czechoslovakian guy, but the lawyer managed to escape. He ran straight to the nearest Rangers station, and told them what had happened, and they sent out a group of rangers.

Sure enough, the Rangers arrived at the place that the lawyer mentioned, and there were the female and the male bears. One of the Rangers promptly took out his rifle and shot the female.
The other Rangers were mystified and asked “Why did you shoot the female? The lawyer said that the male ate his friend.”

The first Ranger looks at them and answers “Would you believe a lawyer if he told you that the Czech is in the male?”