A young boy in kindergarten loved to practice spelling with magnetic letters on the refrigerator: cat, dog, dad, and mom were proudly displayed for all to see. One morning while getting ready for the day, the boy bounded into the room with his arms outstretched. In his hands were three magnetic letters: G-O-D.

“Look what I spelled, Mom!” the boy exclaimed, a proud smile on his face.

“That’s wonderful!” she praised him. “Now go put them on the fridge so Dad can see when he gets home tonight.” Obviously, Sunday School was having an impact, the mother thought, happily.

Just then, a little voice called from the kitchen. “Mom? How do you spell zilla?”

A grandmother was surprised by her 7 year old grandson one morning. He had made her coffee. She drank what was the worst cup of coffee in her life. When she got to the bottom, there were three of those little green army men in the cup.

She said, “Honey, what are the army men doing in my coffee?”

Her grandson said, “Grandma, it says on TV, ‘The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup!’”

10. Sometimes stays in bed till after 6 am.

9. In his sock drawer, you find pictures of women without bonnets.

8. Shows up at barn raisings in full “Kiss” makeup.

7. When you criticize him, he yells, “Thou sucketh!”

6. His name is Jebediah, but he goes by “Jeb Daddy.”

5. Defiantly says, “If I had a radio, I’d listen to rap.”

4. You come upon his secret stash of colorful socks.

3. Uses slang expression: “Talk to the hand, cause the beard ain’t listening.”

2. Was recently pulled over for “driving under the influence of cottage
cheese.”

1. He’s wearing his big black hat backwards.