Johnny had been misbehaving and was sent to his room. After a while he emerged and informed his mother that he had thought it over and then said a prayer.
“Fine”, said the pleased mother. “If you ask God to help you not misbehave, He will help you.”
“Oh, I didn’t ask Him to help me not misbehave,” said Johnny. “I asked Him to help you put up with me.”
A little boy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided to write a letter to the Lord requesting the $100.
When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to the Lord, USA, they decided to send it to President Bush. The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5 bill.
President Bush thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy. The little boy was delighted with the $5 and
sat down to write a thank-you note to the Lord, which read:
Dear Lord,
Thank you very much for sending me the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington, DC and as usual, those jerks deducted $95.
Love,
Tommy
Little Leroy went to his mother demanding a new bicycle. His mother decided that he should take a look at himself and the way he acts. She said, “Well Leroy, it isn’t Christmas and we don’t have the money to just go out and buy you anything you want. So why don’t you write a letter to Jesus and pray for one instead.”
After his temper tantrum his mother sent him to his room. He finally sat down to write a letter to Jesus.
Dear Jesus:
I’ve been a good boy this year and would appreciate a new bicycle.
Your Friend,
Leroy
Now Leroy knew that Jesus really knew what kind of boy he was (a Brat). So, he ripped up the letter and decided to give it another try.
Dear Jesus:
I’ve been an OK boy this year and want a new bicycle.
Yours Truly,
Leroy
Well, Leroy knew this wasn’t totally honest so he tore it up and tried again.
Dear Jesus:
I’ve thought about being a good boy this year and can I have a new bicycle.
Leroy
Well, Leroy looked deep down in his heart, which by the way was what his mother was really wanting. He crumpled up the letter threw it in the trash can and went running outside. He aimlessly wandered about; depressed because of the way he treated his parents and really considering his actions. He finally found himself in front of a Catholic Church. Leroy went inside and knelt down. Looking around not knowing what he should really do. Leroy finally got up and began to walk out the door and was looking at all the statues. All of a sudden he grabbed a small one and ran out the door. He went home hid it under his bed and wrote this letter.
Jesus,
I’ve broken most of the Ten Commandments; shot spit wads in school, tore up my sister’s Barbie doll and lots more. I’m desperate. I’ve got your mama.
If you ever want to see her again give me a bike.
You know who.