• Lord help me to relax about insignificant details beginning at 7:41:23 am, e.s.t.

• God help me to consider people’s feelings, even if most of them ARE hypersensitive.

• God help me to take responsibility for my own actions, even though they’re usually NOT my fault.

• God, help me to not try to RUN everything. But, if You need some help, please feel free to ASK me!

• Lord, help me to be more laid back, and help me to do it EXACTLY right.

• God help me to take things more seriously, especially laughter, parties, and dancing.

• God give me patience, and I mean right NOW!

• Lord help me not be a perfectionist. (Did I spell that correctly?)

• God, help me to keep my mind on one th-(Look, a bird)-ing at a time.

• God help me to do only what I can, and trust you for the rest. And would you mind putting that in writing?

• Lord keep me open to other peoples’ ideas, WRONG though they may be.

• Lord help me be less independent, but let me do it my way.

• Lord help me follow established procedures today. On second thought, I’ll settle for a few minutes.

• Lord help me to slowdownandnotrushthroughwhatIdo.

A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said, “Would you like to say the blessing?”

“I wouldn’t know what to say,” the girl replied.

“Just say what you hear Mommy say,” the wife answered.

The daughter bowed her head and said, “Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?”

A New York City cab driver reaches the Pearly Gates and announces his presence to St. Peter, who looks him up in his Big Book. Upon reading the entry for the cabby, St. Peter invites him to grab a silk robe and a golden staff and to proceed into Heaven.

A preacher is next in line behind the cabby and has been watching these proceedings with interest. He announces himself to St. Peter. Upon scanning the preacher’s entry in the Big Book, St. Peter furrows his brow and says, “Okay, we’ll let you in, but take that cloth robe and wooden staff.”

The preacher is astonished and replies, “But I am a man of the cloth. You gave that cab driver a gold staff and a silk robe. Surely I rate higher than a cabby.”

St. Peter responded matter-of-factly: “Here we are interested in results. When you preached, people slept. When the cabby drove his taxi, people prayed.”