10. The Coast Guard is involved.

9. The service is held at Splash Mountain Water Parks.

8. Pastor wears scuba gear.

7. As the baptism begins the organist plays the theme from “Jaws.”

6. The preacher uses a “Billy the Bass” singing “Take Me to the River” instead of the traditional “Shall We Gather at the River?”.

5. You keep hearing the pastor saying, “Oops! Honestly, sister; I didn’t know about that drop-off!”

4. The pastor can’t get the rather large person being baptized back up out of the water and calls for help.

3. The deacon board shows up with fishing gear.

2. Just as the choir starts to sing, Paul Hogan jumps out of the water and wrestles the preacher into submission.

AND THE NO. 1 SIGN YOU’RE AT A BAD BAPTISM SERVICE:

1. Two Words: Alka Seltzer

10. “EEEEEKKK!!!!!!”

9. “Exterminator down! Exterminator down! Send backup!!! Extermin…”

8. “The GOOD news is … you have termites.”

7. “Do you happen to have a large net?”

6. “Please! Tell me you rent.”

5. “Quick! Phone the police, we have a hostage situation!”

4. “FIRE IN THE HOLE!”

3. “Did you know that scorched furniture can be a decorative statement?”

2. “You know, I’m also a taxidermist.”

1. “Ma’am, I’m afraid they have a lawyer!”

10. Do these steps go up or down?
9. What do you do with the beautiful ice carvings after they melt?
8. Which elevator do I take to get to the front of the ship?
7. Does the crew sleep on the ship?
6. Is this island completely surrounded by water?
5. Does the ship make its own electricity?
4. Is it salt water in the toilets?
3. What elevation are we at?
2. There’s a photographer on board who takes photos of passengers and displays them the next day. The question asked: If the pictures aren’t marked, how will I know which ones are mine?
1. What time is the Midnight Buffet being served?