- You know, I’ve been complaining a lot lately. I don’t blame you for ignoring me.
- That was fun, when will all of your friends be over to watch football again?
- While you were in the bathroom, they went for it on fourth down and missed.
- If they can hold them to a field goal they’ll still cover.
- I liked that wedding even more than ours. Your ex-girlfriend has class.
- That girl is wearing the same outfit as I am. Cool, I’m gonna go over and talk to her.
- I love hearing stories about your old girlfriends, tell me more.
- I like using this new lawn mower so much more than the old one, what a wonderful Valentine’s Day present!
- Let’s just leave the toilet seat up at all times, then you don’t have to mess with it anymore.
- I’m so happy with my new hairstyle, I don’t think I’ll ever change it again.