- Precious Lord, Take my Hand (And Help Me Get Up)
- It is Well with My Soul (but my back hurts)
- Nobody Knows the Trouble I have Seeing
- Amazing Grace (Considering My Age)
- Just a Slower Walk With Thee
- Count Your Many Birthdays, Name Them One by One
- Go Tell It on the Mountain (And Speak Up)
- Give Me that Old Timers Religion
- Blessed Insurance
- Guide Me O Thou Great Jehovah (I’ve forgotten where I parked)
Two cows were chatting over the fence between their fields.
The first cow said, “I tell you, this “Mad Cow” disease is really pretty scary. They say it is spreading fast. I heard it hit some cows down on the Johnson Farm.”
The other cow replied, “I’m not going to worry about it. It will never affect us ducks.”
One day in Language Arts class the children were called to make sentences with words chosen by the teacher.
The teacher smiled when Little Johnny raised his hand to participate during the challenge of making a sentence with the words: “Defeat,” “Defence,” “Deduct,” and “Detail.”
Little Johnny stood, thinking for a while, all eyes focused on him while his classmates awaited his reply.
Smiling, he then proudly shouted out, “Defeat of deduct went over defence before detail.”