Mrs. Watson was terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet. “I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you’ll have lost at least 5 pounds.”

When Mrs. Lee returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds. “Why, that’s amazing!” the doctor said, “Did you follow my instructions?” Mrs. Watson nodded. “I’ll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that 3rd day.”

“From hunger, you mean?” asked the doctor.

“No, from skipping.”

The detective was interviewing the man whose clothing shop had just been
burglarized.

“It’s bad,” said the proprietor, “but it’s not as bad as it could have been
if he’d robbed me yesterday.”

“Why is that?” the detective asked.

“Because today everything was on sale.”

A boy asks his father to explain the differences among irritation, aggravation, and frustration.

The Dad picked up the phone and dialed a number at random. When the phone was answered he asks, “Can I speak to Alf, please?”

To which the person on the other end of the line said, “No! There’s no one called Alf here.” Then, they hung up.

“That’s irritation,” said Dad.

Then he picked up the phone again and dialed the same number; once again asking for Alf a second time. This time the irate answerer replied, “No — there’s no one here called Alf. Go away. If you call again I’ll call the police.”

“That’s aggravation,” commented Dad.

“Then what’s ‘frustration’?” asked his son.

The father picked up the phone and dialed the same number a third time: “Hello, this is Alf. Have I received any phone calls?”