Welcome to Grant's Heavenly Top Ten. Most of us at one time or another have either been a dumper, or dumpee when it comes to dating. It's inevitable, really unless you meet the perfect person on your very first date — not likely is it? Ever wonder how Christians give that not-so-special-someone the brush off? If you have then the August 1997 Edition of the Heavenly Top Ten is for you because it's:
“Top Ten Lines Christians
Use to Dump Their Dates”
- "I'm Sorry, but I just took a Nazaritic vow and have to wash my hair every night for the rest of my life!"
- "I'm sorry, but we differ too much over the charismatic issue . . . you don't have any!"
- "I'm sorry, but the Lord is leading me into the mission field as of today!"
- "I'm sorry, but we can't be together because I'm pre-trib and your post-trib and I'm not waiting a millennium for anyone!"
- "I'm sorry, but we can't date because the temptation would be too great!"
- "Call me after the tribulation and we'll see!"
- "I'm sorry, but God's Word does say that we're supposed to mate after our own 'kind!'"
- "I'm waiting for a sign from God before we go out again . . . when the moon turns to blood, give me a call!"
- "I'm sorry, but in the potluck of love, you're a tuna casserole."
- And the number one line Christians
use to dump their dates is: - "Hey the Lord just gave me the gift of celibacy, what can I say?"
The Heavenly Top Ten is intended to be a fun look at
issues of faith and fellowship. It should not be considered a serious treatment
of
any of the topics presented.