My! How Sundays have changed! It used to be that the only competition churches had on Sundays was staying at home and watching the grass grow, or the snow fall. Church naturally became the focal point of the community and even the evening service thrived! Well, in case you haven't noticed, those 'glory days' are long gone! Now the Church has to compete with a non-stop world of abundant, instant, entertainment. With this in mind, here is my tongue-in-cheek comment on how far some may go to bring 'em in! March's Edition of the Heavenly Top Ten is:
“Top Ten Ways To Promote
Growth In Your Church”
- Become a hosting member of the WWFWE (World Wide Federation of Wrestling Elders)!
- Offer free air miles with every visit!
- Use "Big Gulp" communion cups!
- Issue "Get Out of Hell Free" cards to each member!
- Two words — reclining pews!
- Play "Who Wants To Live Forever?!" — You only get one lifeline!
- Begin a new "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" format for the sermon time!
- Every fourth week raffle off the offering!
- Open a "Starbucks and/or Tim Hortons" franchise in your church lobby!
- And the number one way
to promote growth in your church is:
- Forget the gimmicks and fads. Instead, focus on Christ; pray, pray, pray; and step out in faith!
Thanks to Geoff Clarke for help on this one!
The Heavenly Top Ten is intended to be a fun look at
issues of faith and fellowship. It should not be considered a serious treatment
any of the topics presented.