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Let's face it, most churches suffer some attendance atrophy during the summer months. With church members off on holidays and people running from the hot cities to the cooler countryside, some church numbers get downright dismal.
Well, never fear, because the Heavenly Top Ten has some practical ideas to help prop up anyone's sagging attendance. Without further adieu, the July 2000 Edition of the Heavenly Top Ten is:
“Top Ten Ways To Boost Church Attendance During the Summer”
- Have your preacher preach from a Dunk Tank!
- Offer free samples of "Hellfire and Brimstone" BBQ sauce to every new visitor!
- Add a slide to your baptistery and advertise the church as a water park!
- Offer a free tank of gas for every five sermons heard!
- Convert your parking lot into an RV Campground!
- Convert the sanctuary aisles into putting greens!
- Replace your church sign with one that reads: "Tourist Information"!
- Have your elders and deacons dress up in animal costumes (if necessary)and open a petting zoo on the front lawn!
- Put up road blocks and tell people there's a manhunt going on!
- And the number one way to boost church attendance during the summer is:
- Be there yourself!
The Heavenly Top Ten is intended to be a fun look at
issues of faith and fellowship. It should not be considered a serious treatment
of
any of the topics presented.